I'd never lose it
It will always gnaw at my heart
Is there anything that you can offer me
in return for my admiration years ago?
A twisted light brings us back together
and suddenly my loneliness is lit up
On the waterside I see the summer haze
One day it will be gone like the flowers
I'm afflicted by incurable sadness
I made up an excuse to keep others at bay
I'd like to plant a faint kiss of goodbye on that
and be someone who turns around to face you in the crowd
Before everything grows faint and dim,
I want to find use for my pain
Suruga Devil Episode One
Font used in the video: HGP Mincho B
Scene no. 128
The way I put it made it sound like the two of them had died or something,
You're so weird.
Though I guess I can understand wanting to know the whole story.
Shown the light by the girl who came to me for advice when I was hospitalized,
I began collecting misfortune.
Of course, it'd be a while before I actually began work as a collector.
First, I had to get through rehab.
But the doctor actually said my leg would never go back to the way it used to be.
Said I was married to the cast and crutch for the rest of my life.
And well, that depressed me. A lot.
Still, he told me not to stay cooped up at home
and to make an effort to go outside as much as possible. That piece of advice helped.
It was the perfect excuse to give my parents whenever I went outside to do some collecting.
The devil had finally put up shop.
First order of business was to get away from my neighborhood.
Things didn't go too well in the beginning, but over time,
I learned how to spread rumors in an unfamiliar town and how to take requests.
You're smart enough to have figured out how I got to know Kaiki Deishuu by now, right?
Yup. We had a turf war of sorts in a town I went to.
You see, there are some similarities between his scamming operations and my collecting work.
I'm not in it for the money, but our methods resemble each other so much you could call us colleagues.
Just so you know, that doesn't mean I approve of his scams.
He misuses his knowledge of charms to swindle money out of innocent people.
Talk about evil.
But we can't forget that some people have actually been saved by his actions.
Nothing in this world is evil through and through.
And every evil out there is helping one thing or another.
That goes for all evils,
and all devils.
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On the other hand, all good hurts one thing or another.
When they say there are no absolutes in life,
it also applies to the concepts of absolute good and absolute evil.
Of course, that doesn't mean Kaiki and I were allies.
It's just that after we had a bit of a conflict,
we signed a pact to exchange information to prevent it from happening again.
Now, Kaiki's not the only existence I became aware of at that point.
What else do you think it could be?
That's right.
Charms...
and oddities.
Oddity
Scene no. 34
Kaiki told me about the existence of oddities as a man who specialized in them.
Actually, since he doesn't believe in spirits himself,
what he told me about was the theory that they existed.
And that proved to be foreshadowing.
Foreshadowing for my foray into devil collecting.
Episode Strange
Suruga Devil Episode Four
Font used in the video: HGP Mincho B
I wonder how long I'd been a collector by then.
It's not like I cataloged the parts of my collection,
so I have no idea what page she'd be on.
But one thing's for sure:
that girl—
Hanadori Rouka—
Hanadori Rouka
was the very first piece of my devil collection.
Hanadori Rouka
"Help me," she begged.
She had track pants on beneath her uniform.
A really baggy pair just like the one I'm wearing right now.
Then she took it off in front of me.
I'm sure you can tell that her leg had turned into the devil's.
"This leg's trying to kill my mother," she said.
She had a boyfriend in college who she'd promised to marry,
and had gotten pregnant with his child.
Her mother was obviously against it and told her to get an abortion.
And so she turned to the devil.
Just like you once made a wish to the mummified left arm,
she made hers to the mummified left leg.
The devil tried to fulfill it by getting rid of the mother
and possessed Hanadori's leg to do so.
That ended in failure.
Hanadori went into a trance late one night
and stomped a mudhole in her mother who was sleeping under the same roof.
But she didn't manage to kill her.
She soon realized that she was the one who sent her mother to the hospital.
That backed her into a corner she couldn't escape from.
What do you think went through my mind then?
I... wanted to help her.
I'm not lying.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to help someone from the bottom of my heart.
Shows that even a devil can become an angel, if only for a second.
I was a terrible human being, but that wasn't all I was.
I wanted to do something for Hanadori.
I wanted to take her place if I could.
So I embraced her...
Numachi Rouka embraced Hanadori Rouka.
Hugged her without a word,
and held her tight.
And then I told her:
"It's all right. I'll take care of all your problems."
"I'll solve them for sure,
so you don't have to worry about anything."
I whispered those irresponsible words in her ear.
Not once or twice.
I repeated them over and over again.
Was I crying?
It's not the coolest thing in the world, but I'm sure I was crying there.
Even after she left me alone,
my emotions wouldn't settle down.
I kept thinking I wanted to help her—save her.
It's not like I could do anything, though.
So I decided to go see Kaiki Deishuu.
A scamster he may be, but as a self-proclaimed ghostbuster,
I thought he'd be able to figure things out.
So I immediately called him.
He said it'd cost me. A lot.
And I said I didn't mind—that I was willing to pay any price.
How cool of me.
But as it turned out, I didn't have to pay him at all.
I realized the next morning
that within its cast, my left leg...
had turned into that of the devil.
Scene no. 66
What happened to Hanadori Rouka after that?
Beats me.
That was the only time I saw her.
Her pregnancy,
Scene no. 71
her relationship with her parents,
and, incidentally,
her relationship with someone frivolous enough to knock up a high school girl,
were all entirely outside my influence.
Scene no. 71
There was nothing else I could do.
By the way, what I did wasn't an act of selflessness.
I did get a little something out of it.
I mean,
I obtained the devil's left leg as the perfect replacement for my own, broken one.
So your cast and crutch were fakes?
Well, yeah.
It's statistical truth that people are more loose-lipped when asking a disabled person for advice.
I couldn't throw away such an advantage.
So...
Basically, nothing changed. You kept collecting misfortune even after that.
Obviously.
But at the same time, I also found myself another hobby.
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Collecting devil parts, that is.
In the end, there was no need to rely on Kaiki,
Scene no. 84
but we kept exchanging information.
After that, I learned what this devil was all about from that man.
I recognized it as my enemy.
Enemy?
Yeah. A business rival.
It nullifies people's worries—
turns their misfortune into something irreparable.
Hence, a business rival.
One that had to be destroyed.
Every time I heard a rumor about it, I visited the town it originated from and engaged in some devil busting.
Or well, devil collection.
Does that mean...
Bingo.
It's not just my arm and leg.
Various parts of my body have turned into that of the devil.
That's the end of my flashback, Kanbaru.
You get it now, right?
I took your left arm for purely selfish reasons.
Simply to satisfy my own desires.
So Numachi said.
Scene no. 104
How much of the devil's body have you managed to collect so far?
Not even a third.
What if you got it all?
Wouldn't you become the devil yourself?
Maybe so,
but I actually intend to absorb it.
Is that even possible?
Scene no. 121
Sacrificing your body—
throwing it away.
Not out of a desire to help others.
Not out of a desire to desire something of the completed devil.
Is there any kind of meaning
in Numachi's life?
Scene no. 121
Well, then.
Goodbye, Kanbaru.
We probably won't meet again.
Lead a good life.
Like, take entrance exams, make new friends,
find a boyfriend, land a job, get married, raise children,
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and then fight with them.
I hope you experience very human things.
Because I wasn't able to.
Scene no. 155
Oh, right.
That's right.
I can do whatever I want now.
I can use my left hand to take my clothes off or play basketball.
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Araragi Karen
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Hello, Suruga?
Uh, I'm sorry. Were you asleep?
Nah, don't worry.
I was just lying down for a bit.
Sorry. I'll keep it short.
I called because I found information about Numachi Rouka, the girl you asked me to look into yesterday.
Oh, I see.
I'm sorry to say this after making you do all that,
but I already met her today.
You met her?
Yeah.
That can't be right.
What do you mean?
I actually was with her until—
You couldn't have met her.
Because Numachi Rouka
committed suicide three years ago.
Scene no. 193
Call History
Araragi Karen
She broke her leg during a basketball game in junior high
and lost her playing career.
So she quit her school and, before she graduated from the school she transferred to,
slit her wrist.
Call History
Higasa
It wasn't just about her leg.
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She also had serious family issues, apparently.
It was impossible to tell because she was such an aloof girl,
but she'd been leading a complicated life.
Suicide, though?
I see.
So the Numachi I met was a ghost, huh?
Kaiki Deishuu
All right.
Time for a run!
Scene no. 231
17th of April
My legs hurt.
I should have paid attention to my form at least.
But if I had, I'd never have made it this far.
That's right...
Senjougahara had beautiful form.
Very beautiful.
She was saying she had to lose a few pounds and started running again last year or so.
It was so beautiful.
I wish I had such beautiful form.
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Sorry. I'll get out of the way.
Hey, are you okay?
Kanbaru?
Araragi?
Scene no. 291
I'm so, so, so disappointed!
You're driving a car!
Shut up.
Let me enjoy my car.
Do you have any idea how hard getting a license was?
Didn't you say that bicycles were your life?
You said you admired road racers.
I was such a fool for still feeling bad about wrecking your mountain bike.
You should still feel bad about it.
And your car looks like a bar of soap!
This isn't what a man should be driving.
Don't make fun of how round my car is!
You can make fun of me, but leave my car alone!
This is the best vehicle design in the entire world!
Didn't you say a man should be driving supercars?
Did I really say that?
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Seriously though, hearing someone else say the word "supercar" gives me goosebumps.
I wish I'd never known this side of Araragi.
Scene no. 319
It's okay. My next project will be going back to high school like nothing happened.
I can't believe you were able to afford a foreign car fresh out of high school.
Did you take out a loan?
Nah, graduation gift from my parents.
Congratulations
Congrats
The disappointment!
Is something wrong?
Despite the switch from bicycle to car
Scene no. 343
and him having grown out his hair and nails,
this is still Araragi.
Scene no. 343
I've lost control.
Nothing is really working out the way I planned.
I'm really insecure right now.
You've been insecure for a long time.
I think I'm just lonely now that you and Senjougahara have graduated.
Let me tell you, Senjougahara is also pretty lonely.
She misses you.
And you?
Of course I miss you.
A lot.
You're really the only one who can follow my conversations into the really seedy depths.
I see.
What's not working out for you?
It's not like you to just run and run until you collapse.
Like me, huh?
I don't know what's typical of me anymore.
You don't know anymore?
Yeah.
What's typical of me anyway?
What do you believe is typical of yourself, Araragi?
Huh...
I don't really know.
I had my hands full trying to lead by example.
Looking at it like that, maybe you were the one who defined who I was.
I was?
In the end, we all adjust our personalities in a way that appeals to those we want to like.
It's a bit dishonest though, I think.
While you're embroiled in that deception, you lose and lose sight of so much.
Things you lose...
You're right.
I feel like I've already lost so much.
I want to do something about the situation I'm facing.
But on the other hand, I feel that the best course of action would be to do nothing.
Doing nothing is best?
How so?
It doesn't bother anybody.
Should you really interfere when someone is happy despite their misfortune?
What's the point in going out of your way to tell them they should be unhappy?
If they're enjoying their misfortune, then those around them have no business interfering.
I don't get it.
Look, Kanbaru.
If you think no one is bothered by it, you're wrong.
Because at the very least, it bothers you.
That's enough of a reason to take action.
Being bothered by something is the best reason there could possibly be to take action.
Incidentally, it bothers me when something bothers you.
It bothers Senjougahara too.
Right.
Scene no. 410
I remember.
He always says stuff like that.
Scene no. 410
I'm not parroting Oshino here.
The only one who can improve your situation is you yourself.
But Araragi,
that feeling of irritation will eventually pass.
What I think is bothering me now will eventually stop bothering me in time.
That's just stupid.
Did someone tell you that?
You wouldn't normally say something like that.
"Don't think too much."
"Think more."
That kind of thing.
Yeah.
Lots of people told me lots of things lately.
Numachi.
Scene no. 427
Kaiki.
My mother.
Ignore them.
Whoever those people are, they aren't you.
When did you get smart enough to consider how others feel?
I've always done the things I wanted to do.
You should do whatever you want to do.
I wanted to live up to your expectations purely for my own reasons,
and if you want to adopt the views of others because you truly want to, then I suppose that's okay, too,
but if you can't agree with something, you have to fight it.
I fought with Senjougahara, Hanekawa, Oshino—
I even fought with you, who expects so much of me.
Okay.
I agree with your opinion, Araragi.
That's why I'll fight.
Good luck.
If I can help somehow, do tell me.
I'm fine!
Okay.
That's good to hear.
If you really want to help, whip my room into shape in a few days.
Stop being such a slob!
Scene no. 1
What is this I have stuck inside my heart?
It grows so large I have to talk about it
In the prison that we call freedom
we live half in the past
I'm prisoner to your love-struck response
Immobile, spell-bound, sucked in
Thinking about all the right and wrong decisions now
I am petrified with hesitation
Now you are gone from this chaotic world
My feelings lie buried deep
I run alone to where my heart
commands me
I cut myself lose from the words that tied me down
Nobody will equal me
in my honesty to myself
when I decide
to find someone else now